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Memoir 12

It’d been weeks since I was able to watch television. I had newly arrived at prison and at last I had a moment to flip through all of the channels. I gasped with glee at what I saw…every major news station was covering my story.

I’d finally gotten what I wanted…everyone knew my name.

I crossed my arms and sat back in my chair with a satisfied smile.

25

“That you?” The woman on my right nudged me with her shoulder. “Yep!” I beamed at her. “Well lookie here.” She announced loudly. “We got ourselves a celebrity in our midst.” There was a few scattered claps and whistles throughout the room. “Welcome to Southside. I’m Winnie.” She stuck her hand out for me to shake. I quickly learned that she had a very firm grip.

26

“Thank you for the warm reception. This place isn’t that bad actually. Plus I got some REALLY good news today.” I chattered away happily. “I found out that there’s this lady who wants to write my biography. I can’t believe it! A book about me? That’s crazy!” Winner snorted. “Yeah…crazy.” Some of the other women snickered quietly. Oh! That’s not all either! She said there could be a movie if the book sells well!” I squealed excitedly. “When I get out of here, I’m going to rich…and famous!”

27

“Out?” The young girl to my left asked me with raised brows. “You must’ve gotten a good deal.” She tried to smile but failed miserably. “I guess I did.” I shrugged. “20 years. But I’ll be up for parole in 15 with good behavior.” She didn’t seem to like my answer. “That’s nice. At least you have a chance to be free one day. Some of us are stuck here forever.” She placed her cards on the table. “Fold.” She muttered. “So who are you bunking with?” She swiftly changed the subject. “A few other new arrivals but the officer told me not to get too comfortable.” She nodded her head. “Yeah, you’ll get transferred to a more permanent cell soon. Hope you get someone you can tolerate…because 20 years is a looong time.”

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Memoir 11

“Wow. This is some crowd.” I told Stefan sarcastically as I observed the nearly empty bar. “Where is everyone?” He gave me a sheepish smile. “There was a bit of scheduling mix up, June. There’s a big concert going on across town. I’m actually surprised that anyone showed up here at all…if I’m being honest.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “There’s only two people out there. I might as well just go home.” I whined. “They must be your number one fans.” He teased, trying to lighten my mood. “I’ll make it up to you.” He promised. “But the show must go on. Get out there and amaze them.”

22

I walked out and began by singing my new song which I’d titled “Dread.” It was a bit depressing but I was so very proud of it. Then I realized that no one was listening. My “fans” appeared to be extremely bored…one was texting and the other one’s eyelids were fluttering as if she couldn’t keep awake. Even worse, Dean was talking to Stefan about work so loudly that I could barely hear myself.

This was supposed to be my moment. And it was ruined.
“I KILLED HER!” I suddenly screamed into the microphone.
“I killed Katy Tiz!”

23

Everyone in the room was staring at me in shock “Do I have your full attention now?” I tapped my foot impatiently. Dean had a look of pure horror on his face. “Is this your idea of a joke?” He whispered hoarsely. “Because it’s not funny.” His mouth was set in a grim line. “Oh, I’m not kidding.” I told him bluntly. “She’s buried in our backyard.” His eyes grew wide. “Wh-why?” He asked. “How could you?” I let a heavy sigh and shrugged. “She kinda deserved it.” He jumped from his chair while clutching his stomach. “I’m going to be sick!”

24

“Don’t try to leave, June.” Stefan stared me down bravely as he hung up his phone. “The police are on the way.” I perched on the edge of a barstool and plastered a happy grin on my face. “Oh, don’t worry…I won’t put up a fight. It’s long past time for me to face the music.”

 

Memoir 10

After Katy was no longer in the picture, my life became better than ever. Dean was inconsolable at first but eventually he found his way to my open arms…and with time he grew to love me. I’ve managed to convince him that Katy is alive and well in LA somewhere and that she’s living an ultra fabulous life without us dragging her down. He’s so gullible…but he means everything to me. We’ve decided to get married next spring.

19

I also met up with Katy’s old producer, Stefan, and told him the truth about “Memoir.” Luckily I was able to convince him that I was the real brains behind that song. He eventually set me up with a career and it didn’t take long for me to gain my own small following. I’m nowhere near as well known as Katy was but that’s all going to change pretty soon. I’ve been working on a killer song and I’ll be ready to share it with my fans at my next gig. It’s going to make me famous.

20

I’m still not on my medication and oddly enough, I feel fine without it. The first time I went off my pills was seven years ago…around the time that I met Dean. He was dating some snob and I was invisible to him. I just wanted him to notice me and I thought that threatening to jump from the roof of my dorm building was the only way. I was half right…we became friends shortly after I got home from the institution. I’m better now though. So maybe what happened with Katy was just a tiny slip…a tiny slip that caused me to lose my sanity temporarily.

21

I do feel as if I’ve gotten back nearly all of the things Katy stole from me. My dignity. My lyrics. The spotlight. Dean. But if I’m being honest with myself…sometimes it doesn’t seem like enough.

Memoir 9

That fateful night five years ago, I found Katy in the kitchen. “Coffee this late?” I asked her. She grunted and shrugged her shoulders. “I couldn’t sleep with Dean snoring anyways.” She took two cups from the cupboard and placed them on the counter then finally glanced at me. “Why are you wearing rubber gloves?” I stuffed my hands into my pockets and tried to think of a lie. “Uh…I was cleaning my bathroom…didn’t want to get chemicals on my hands.” She nodded and slid a cup across the counter to me.

“Look June…I’m sorry for blowing up on you earlier. Everything is just so crazy right now and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.” Katy let out a pitiful sigh. “I guess I really should watch what I say around you though…I wouldn’t want you to have another episode.” She mentioned casually as she took a sip of coffee. “Uh…another what?” I chewed my lip nervously. “Don’t you remember? It was around Christmas two years ago when you had that meltdown and you were institutionalized briefly.” Of course I remembered…I was just surprised that she knew about it. “Didn’t you get put on medication for that?” She smiled sweetly. “Uh…yeah.” I assumed she didn’t have a clue that I’d stopped taking my pills around the time she started dating Dean.

16

“Anyways, let me get to the point. You can’t leave in the morning. I need your help again.” I stared at her speechlessly. “Stefan expects me to have three new songs written before we tour Europe…and I just can’t do it by myself. So you’re going to do it for me.” Her sweet smile quickly turned sinister. “Before you say no, I want to remind you that you don’t really have a choice. Either you can stay here and write songs for me or I can call the police and tell them you threatened my life. And with your history…who do you think everyone will believe?” She smirked. I grit my teeth and narrowed my eyes at her. She thought she had me…but I had another plan.

17

I selected a butcher’s knife from the knife block and stepped towards Katy menacingly. “Very funny, June. I’m not afraid of you.” She laughed and shook her head. “You should be.” I told her right before I lunged at her.

18

It was so quiet I could hear myself breathing while I cleaned up my mess a few hours later. Once the kitchen was spotless, I poked my head in Katy’s bedroom door to check on Dean. I figured I would have to take care of him as well…but luckily, he had slept through it all.

Memoir 8

Katy was absolutely insufferable when we got back from LA. All she talked about was the “deranged fan” that trashed her dressing room. “I’m sure they’ll tighten up security when you tour Europe next month, babe. It’s going to be fine.” Dean tried to reassure her. “It was only lipstick. I don’t see what the big deal is.” I blurted out. “I never said it was lipstick.” She stopped pacing back and forth.

13

“It was you, wasn’t?” She suddenly whirled around and pointed at me. “Uh…what?” I stared back at her innocently. “You left the message! Who else could it have been? You’ve been nothing but jealous of me the whole time!” She accused. “So not true!” I yelled back at her defensively. “But maybe you wouldn’t be so paranoid if you weren’t feeling guilty. Is there something you want to confess?” I raised my eyebrows and waited for an answer.

14

“What is she talking about?” Dean appeared to be confused. “Nothing!” Katy shouted. “Pay her no mind. It’s just the rantings of a lunatic. She’s not eating and she’s not sleeping. Just look at the circles under her eyes and how the skin hangs from her body. She hasn’t been taking care of herself because she’s too busy stalking my every move! I think she’s obsessed with me!” Katy’s words stung but I kept a straight face.

15

“Have you looked into a mirror lately, Katy? All of the “celebrating your success” has begun to take a toll…you’re looking a bit washed out.” I crossed my arms and snorted. “I want you out of here!” She shrieked as she picked up a lamp and threw it in my direction. Luckily she missed. “First thing in the morning, you’re gone! Don’t make me get a restraining order! We’re done, June!”

“As you wish, Katy.” I told her pleasantly as I stood. “After tomorrow, you’ll never see me again.”

Memoir 7

“I have fan mail! Can you believe it, June? They love me!” Katy exclaimed as she dug through the pile of letters on the table in front of her. “Uh…that’s nice.” I told her politely but my voice trembled as I spoke. I’d been on the verge of tears since Katy had taken full credit for the song we wrote together. The only reason I went on tour with her was because she promised to tell everyone about me during her sold out concert. “Don’t forget to come clean while you’re out there, Katy.” I stared down at my feet as I said it. I knew it would piss her off.

10

“You won’t let me have just one moment to myself without reminding me, will you?” She turned and glared at me. “It was a simple mistake and I’ve apologized again and again for it. I will fix it, I swear.” I wanted to take her word for it but I no longer trusted her. “Now please quit following me around like a lost puppy. I need to prepare for the biggest night of my life.” She ushered me out of her room and locked the door behind me. I sucked up my pride and made my way to the auditorium where Katy would perform later that evening.

11

Sure enough, I was right not to believe a word Katy said. She smiled and waved at me from the stage while she sang song after song but not once did she mention my name or motion for me to stand next to her on that stage. During her final song that evening, I slipped out of the crowd unnoticed with my hands clenched at my sides.

12

I took a tube of Katy’s red lipstick and wrote “Revenge” in big letters across the mirror in her dressing room then I stared at my reflection with a satisfied smile on my face. I didn’t have a plan at that moment but it would only be a matter of time before I put Katy Tiz in her place…

Memoir 6

Then IT happened.

After Katy’s latest gig, Dean and I watched as she was approached by a young guy we’d never seen before. “Good evening! I just wanted to say I’ve been watching you for a quite a while now.” Katy looked over at us in alarm. She probably thought he was a stalker but just by looking him over, I knew better.

7

“That last song you performed was new right?” He asked. “Yeah, what of it?” Katy mumbled nervously. “Oh, don’t be wary, Miss Tiz. I’m a music producer that is always on the hunt for new talent. And I think you have what it takes to make it big.” Katy’s eyes lit up. “I just have to ask…where do you find the inspiration for your music? I really loved the part in “Memoir” where you talked about the sights in Tokyo. You lived there?” She made eye contact with me briefly then lied through her teeth. “Briefly.”

8

“You keep writing songs like that and you’ll make it all the way to the top. Oh, I’m Stefan, by the way.” He held his hand out to her and she shook it awkwardly. “You’re pretty well known around these parts but that’s not enough for a girl like you, is it?” He smiled at her knowingly. “I’d like to invite you out to LA. Come and meet the rest of my guys. Then give us about a month and we’ll put you on tour. Everyone is going to know your name.” He promised as he gave her his card.

9

“I can’t believe this is happening! I’m going to California!” Katy squealed. Dean appeared to be happy for her. “Wow. I’m going to be dating a rock star.” He chuckled and shook his head. “Can they come too?” Katy asked as she glance at me once more. “Sure.” Stefan nodded. Katy knew I was upset and was hoping that taking me to LA with her would help ease the blow. It didn’t. If looks could’ve killed…Katy would’ve been dead that night.

Memoir 5

I was delighted that Katy thought so highly of me. It didn’t take me long to pack up my things and bid my old dorm room goodbye. Katy’s loft was a two story brick building with a huge backyard that would later become her final resting place.

4

Right after I moved in, I noticed that Dean was steering clear of me. I later found out from Katy that he thought I was a “weird chick” and he only hung out with me because he felt sorry for me. It really hurt my feelings. I always thought there may have been something special between us and that maybe he was just shy about how he felt for me…then Katy got in the way. But I was wrong. So wrong. How could I have been so blind?

5

I shoved my emotions deep down and immediately got to work on the mysterious project Katy mentioned before. She wanted my help to write a song that would help her kick off her career. “You’ll get credit for it, of course!” She reassured me. “Maybe you could even come on stage and sing it with me.” I gasped eagerly. “Really?” I wanted to be famous for my books…but if writing a popular song helped pave the way then I definitely was down for it. “We could even go on tour together.” I told Katy in a dreamy voice.” She nodded enthusiastically. “Right…now let’s get to it.”

6

We worked all through the night and by the time the sun rose the next morning…we had it. A sweet melody we named “Memoir.” The lyrics were a collection of fond memories from each of us. And it was…perfect.

“This is it! This is the one! I’m going to be a star!” She jumped up and down as we celebrated. “No!” I cut in. “WE are going to be stars!” I reminded her gently. “Right…that’s what I meant.” Katy blushed a deep red.and shrugged. “I’m going to play it at my next show…the audience will love it. I just can’t wait.” She rambled excitedly. “Watch out, June…we’re going to knock them dead!”

Memoir 4

I avoided Katy for a while after she began dating Dean. Not that it mattered because it wasn’t long before the happy couple moved into an apartment together. Then I received a phone call a few weeks later. Katy wanted to see me. She asked if I would meet her in the park. At first I told her no but my curiosity got the best of me and I finally agreed to meet with her. I couldn’t figure out what was left for us to talk about. I was still so angry with her. She’d stolen Dean from me…

1

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I could hear Dean muttering as I came closer to them later that afternoon. “She’s kind of…intense.” Katy giggled. “It’ll be fine. You seem to forget that I’ve already lived with her before…for two years. If I can endure it then so can you.”

2

“You wanted to see me?” I interrupted them with a fake smile plastered on my face. “Yes!” Katy shouted excitedly. “Please sit with us.” Dean sighed and nodded his head in greeting. “Are you upset with us, June?” Katy asked as I sat down across from them. “Uh…maybe a little.” I admitted. “It’s okay. I understand how you feel. Two of your friends suddenly start dating and it makes things a little weird, right?”

3

“Uh…yeah. Something like that.” She gave me a look of pity. “June, you’ll never be the third wheel to us. I promise.” She put her hand over mine. I glanced over at Dean and caught him rolling his eyes. “If you say so.” I muttered. “I just want you to know that I have no intention of abandoning our friendship. In fact…we want you to move in with us!” She beamed at me. “What?” I choked out. “Yeah! It’s great living off of campus. And plus there’s a project I need your help with.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “You need MY help?” I stuttered. “Yes! You’re a creative genius!” She winked at me. “So just think about it okay?”

I didn’t need much time to think about it…my mind was already made up.

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